Delayed Flights, Strayed Sights

Just Another Morning

The sun has lit the entire airport up. The engine soundin the background. People trying to put their bags up in the overhead bins. Some breeze on your face because you’re in the very first row. The hostess doing herthings clamping containers back to their positions. The sound of overhead bin shutting. The ground staff facilitating for departure.  Sounds of baggage carrier moving. Children excited despite having to get up so early. Sounds of the Captain making his way in. Listening to all these eyes closed makes it just another familiar morning and the feeling that all is well. 

Ness Lion

He said pointing to the video: "No Appa, thit is lion and thit is ness lion". It took me a minute to understand that he means Lioness. For now, I'd let it be that way. I'm sure he will not grow up calling it Ness Lion.

 

A Picture or a Thousand Words?

I would rather insert a gif than type out a word or two to you. You'll get the message either ways, but, it ain't the same is it? The gif image will probably bring a smile on your face in addition to you receiving the message. 

Do you know of people who can manage the same only with words? Do you know of messages that have the same impact on you? 

For that, the words should change, which would require the message changed. You should cease responding and begin leading. Lead the conversation into another dimension.

Do you know where these people are? Do you know how to find them? Read. Read as much as possible. Read as wide as possible. Read the lyrics, read the subtitles, read the news papers, read in different languages, read emails, billers, everything and everywhere. Unless you look, you'll never find the ones who lead. 

Not just those who write, but, those who sing, those who act, those who perform, those who communicate. We're in a world where it is difficult to differentiate the signal from noise. No wonder, we need data analytics to help us - humans find it tiring to do it by themselves. Find the next one who leads. 

Know an easier way to find one? Be.

It is

Is it true,

that my past posts,

are but a reflection

of the brilliance 

of the life I once led?

Is it true,

that my past posts,

are but a showcase

of what I'm missing

in the life I'm leading?

Is it true,

that my past posts

chronicle my life

of the times - good & bad

to get by life that I lead?

We First Met on Uber

I tried the Uber pool option and was amused at the enforced socialization one has to go through.  Please note, enforced.

If having a stranger on the same seat as you in a closed space like a car - a vehicle meant to be private - is not scary enough, not knowing who it is you're sharing the enclosed space would be even more scarier.

So, in my first such ride, I was forced to speak to the stranger, more to allay such fears and less in order to socialize. In about 10 rides I have pooled, I have seen my co-passengers immediately look at their phones or take a book out to immerse themselves in possibly to avoid conversations. It is quite easy to get on the phone and finish your calls, but, you'll not be able to talk so freely either.

It changes the way you introduce yourself: Remember, the co-passenger knows your name as it shows on the uber app. Your introduction would be akin to an elevator speech as you'll have less time talk about yourself. One would require to find common ground (or shared interests) quickly as these are the ones that will help reduce the fear of the unknown stranger next to you. Also, the in about 15 - 40 minutes that one would spend in the car, I found the time too short to comfortably ask the other person if I could add him/her on social media.

This would only mean that one should learn to make small talk that would enable one to connect to people faster. A case of the rapid change in technology requiring etiquette to evolve?

No, the co-passenger in a bus / train / aircraft is not the same as the co-passenger in a car. When you're in the former, you're entitled to be silent and not speak a word as it is intended to be a public transport and it would perhaps be scary if you're the only one in it whereas the car was intended to be personal transportation and that fundamental premise is challenged through the pooling option.

It could entirely be possible that I am old-school and need more time to socialize and it could perhaps be less awkward for, say, a younger millennial.

Which brings me to the topic of the post. It could well just be days when you hear a couple say 'we first met on uber'

There is no One Reason for things to happen

We have been tricked into believing that "Everything happens for a reason". It's not "a" reason but multiple reasons, coming together and making the event possible. To start with, the reason I'm typing this post is not just because I'm sitting at the airport awaiting the boarding call, but also because (a) it has been long since I have blogged (b) I got a decent sleep last night (c) I have the energy to express and type it out from the phone (d) I'm wearing a Beatles tee (e) I just got "upgraded" to emergency exit row from the second last row in an Indigo airline. 

Yes. I know what you're thinking. You think I am writing to show off the point (e) above? Please read the post again, this time including the title. 

Waiting For An Indefinite Amount Of Time

“He’s just barging into me!” she complained to the man with her as they made their way to their seat in the aircraft.

As they sat in the emergency exit seat listening to the customary instructions by the air hostess, the person at the window started laughing and soon she and her partner joined as well. The laughter, much to the amusement of the people in the adjacent rows, lasted well after the hostess finished her discourse.

Weird things were happening around her this evening and she had started to believe that she attracts weird events and actions from people. The recent one was a few minutes ago on her way to the airport, the instance where what she thought was a truck coming towards her was actually two motorcycles and hence passed right through her. Thinking that nobody had laughed at the air hostess when she says the windows need to be open at the time of take-off and landing, she concluded this could be the last for the evening, a few minutes later she would dismiss the thought.

The baggage never seem to arrive and she was with only a couple of people who were waiting for the baggage near the empty belt.

When she went to the baggage services, she was told that she had to now wait for an indefinite amount of time as she was in a dream and the person in whose dream she was in, had woken up for the day and there was no certainty if he'll see the same dream again.

Why Airlines Need to Think For a the Customer

Every visit to the airport has my body parts twist in frustration. I may have unconsciously chosen to vent using this medium giving the blog much needed attention as well.

I have my own workarounds and hacks for each airport - which line would move faster, security frisking station offers the most flexibility to minimise time taken. This coupled with my own preparation that would enable me to save time tremendously from the way I pack, why I always wear a jacket if I'm traveling, the size of the bag I carry, leveraging one of the biggest lines that eats up all the time.i never check any of my bags in. Which would mean, I don't carry much and also I don't carry the hazardous items. This has impacted my choice of dressing and eventually - hold your breath - my first choice of colour for my clothing, my already abysmal fashion sense, etc.,

So, what's the point I'm trying to make? The reason one needs a hack is that the current process causes discomfort to the user. It is the responsibility of the airlines to make it easy for the users of the service it offers. Innovating to solve customer problems can go a long way in addressing these issues. A process to identify the problems could be a useful first step. 

Jignaes Awaits Beautiful Photos

On a Sunday when everything else around him needed his attention, Jignaes chose to read his email, a particular one that was of no consequence to anyone, perhaps except Ms Bicha. The email read:

My Name Is Nani Bicha ,Am very pleased to contact you after I saw your profile at expatriates.com ,I am Interested In having a good communication with you as a trues friend, Please write me Back with my E-mail (nani**@hotmail.com ) and tell me more about yourself, Your hobbies,Your likes and dislikes, as I love cooking, handball, singing,karaoke, reading,etc. I don't like dishonest people.I will tell more about myself with my beautiful photos once i get your reply.Remember, Distance,culture, age and color dos not matter any true friendship, but love and caring matters allot in life. hope to hear from you.

What mattered most for him was not the 'trues friend' part but Karaoke. Jignaes would go to any distance, cross cultures, bridge age for Karaoke. The gentle 'hope to hear from you' made him reply to Nani and is now awaiting 'beautiful photos'. 

Laila Vaserman Asks If She Can Trust Jignaes

Jignaes gets an email from Laila Vaserman from an email ID that ends with .jp. She asks all in innocence and seemingly candid, "I have something to share with you" and signs off with "Please let me know"

Jignaes' imagination runs over time. He thinks like the young surd in the new Coke commercial that seeks to blend in with times with their #openhappiness hashtag (youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kbYSUS7o3pE)

In Jignaes' mind he is holidaying with Laila in a place that is mid-location for both of them - Bali. He goes to refill his drink leaving Laila to get her tan. He had no idea that it would work out so beautifully. 

In all earnestness, he emails her that he can be trusted and as an evidence, he sends her his half marathon certificate and his photo of running. Somewhere in his mind, he thinks people who run half marathon or more can be trusted. He signed off with trying hard not to reveal his excitement "Look forward to hearing from you"

Unfortunately he didn't ask if Laila can be trusted, because, in Bali, when he came back after a refill, Laila who was getting her tan was not to be found.

Books I Look Forward For

Some books would be really worth looking forward for. Like the one written by Robert Langdon, or Harry Potter. Having looked at them and their lives from outside, it would really be interesting to see the world from their perspective.

Had I known about Robert Galbraith I would have doubly excited to read his book. (Assuming Robert Galbraith is a 'he')

To begin with, it may not be a bad idea to have Jignaes write the next blogpost. 

A Mesmerized Cathy Balbir Stranded in Istanbul

Dear World,

I am in Istanbul, Turkey at the moment, and unfortunately for me i can't make withdrawal from my bank account from here. My Bank cards declined due to network security reasons.

I contacted my bank but I was told i need to get back home before this problem can be resolve at my bank headquarters and i urgently need to pay some bills to avoid embarrassment here. I am so confused right now, I don't know what to do or where to go.

Please I need you to loan me some money to sort myself here till i get back. I promise to refund your money as soon as i get back home. Please let me know if this will be possible so I can forward you details on how you can get the funds wired to me.

Thanks
Cathy Balbir

In reality, Cathy Balbir is counting the mails from mailer-daemon informing on the undelivered mails for help, sipping coffee. Out of nowhere, this blogpost appears on her screen and mesmerizes the wits out of Cathy Balbir who goes on to read every single blogpost written on this blog in its close to 10 year history (increasing Tangents' readership by 100%)

"I Am Sorry My Great Nation"

These are the exact words rendered by a citizen of a great nation in the planet Onis, before he emptied his bladder in a parking lot under the mall. This is exemplary case of the influencing powers of Felix. Let me not get ahead of myself.

Jignesh & Felix were having a drink at the bar. Jignesh wanted to relieve himself and went to the washroom that was a winding path which required him to cross a couple of cities and take a ride on a horseback. Or so he thought after the 6th drink in the night. However, he was intelligent enough to buy a return ticket to his buddy Felix who was guarding the drink safely. Felix tore the tickets apart and dismissed the map given by Jignesh to get to the washroom. He proceeded as if he is the king of the country and 30 minutes later returns saying he's got a story.

Not only did he empty his bladder in the parking lot because he didn't find the washroom. He also miraculously encouraged another can't-hold-it-for-more-than-a-minute guy to join him. Just before the final act, the great words in the title were uttered. 

Can't miss the timing for patriotism. Hail Onis.

Betting in the Bus Stop

So, on the second day of incessant rains in Mumbai, I get to the bus stop, after checking for the 130th time that it has not been declared a holiday as yet. All the 7 people in the bus stop have an umbrella each. A bus comes along and 5 of them get in as if it is the last bus of the day. I'm optimistic and wait for the bus. It is then that this random stranger decides to chat with me.

Random Stranger (RS): I've been here for 20 mins and my bus 513 hasn't come as yet.

Sleepyface(SF): Did 373 go already?

RS: It did, but that was 20 minutes ago. There is one coming in the next five.
SF: Yes, that one is fairly frequent.
RS: 513 will come any moment now.
SF: I bet my bus will come first
RS: Not a chance in hell
SF: Lets see
RS: See! See! Mine came first! I won!
SF: Darn. Bad beginning to the day. 

Although 373 came right behind 513, I still couldn't beat the Random Stranger.

Fight Club

He and She used to fight a lot when they were in touch. I'll never speak with you ever again kind of fights. He got married (to another girl) and went on with his life. After two years, he gets a call from she and is told that the fights are missed. He tells her that the fights are now in-sourced and are available in plenty at home. So, there really was no need to bother her. Both laughed. Funny at one level; a connection at another.

**********

I watched Fight Club the other evening. I was blown away by the concept. If you haven't watched it, you must.

**********

At one level, I don't want to fight. At another, I want to fight myself.

Expense Claim Form

I have spent money on something. If I tell the company what I have purchased for how much, it will pay me back. From my own salary. If the company tells the Government and produces proof of spending the company can save on taxes. 

People from mars are coming. Can you please explain this to them?

How I was made to stand in line

Stranger: You jumped the line
Me: No I didn't. There was no line.
Stranger: Yes there was. You asked me if you could see the menu and you jumped the line
Me: No, you don't know, there wasn't a line.
Stranger: Is there anything else that I don't know?
Me: Yes, you don't know my name.
Stranger: Ok, what is your name?
Me: Sleepyface
Stranger: Ok, sleepyface, will you please come and stand in the line?
Me: That's smart. I will. 

Motivating the Lizard in the Kitchen.

Dear Lizard in my kitchen,

You very well know that running & hiding has always been associated with fear. Think of Rat or a Cockroach. When you run & hide, you are giving me power to chase and find. When you know someone is chasing you, you automatically give me that power. When you give power to me, you feel powerless and scared.

For you to retain power, you should not give it away. If you should not give it away, you should not run and hide. If you don't run & hide, you will stand still and face me. When you stand still and face, I wouldn't have to chase. You'll have me to 'think' and do something else.

Trust this helps.

Warm Regards,
Sleepyface.

(In an alternative universe, this is read and the lizard is in a deep contemplative mood sipping Long Island Ice Tea)

Eight For You. Two For Me.

Dear Reader,

The blogger is lazy and I have decided to take things into my own hands. I did not foresee this day would come in my life when the attention I deserve is not given even on my birthday. You may remember the good old days when sleepyface was active and had promptly wished me on my birthday. The ardent observer in you will not fail to see that this blog leaps. But that is in your world. I leap.

In my world, 4 years is 1 year. So, I am two years old for me and eight years old for you. Hm.. Eight years is a long time. I pity your counting system.

Sincerely,
Tangents

(ps: Sleepyface: And you thought I'd wait for your lame "8 is just a number' post?)