Ever heard of the phrase "I told you so"? In my experience its not a very good thing to be at the receiving end of this. I think it is a disrespect to human-ness to say it. It represents and carries the culture which believes in imposing one's thoughts on the other. Whenever someone says "I told you so" what that person is saying is "You should've listened to my thoughts instead of disregarding them. Your thought process is not all that great. You shouldn't have decided and acted for yourself."
"I told you so" mocks the person's choice making, experiencing, failing and learning by himself. It has the potential to block the individual to act on his own the next time he faces a situation. Why would you want to deny him that? Where is your respect for his choice and decision? How 'bout the line of thought that says 'he/she can think for himself, in the same capacity as I can think for myself'? While thinking for the other is one thing, imposing the same on the other is unacceptable. What do you think?
4 comments:
I hate those words too and the joy one expresses while saying these words!
well said!..but it think it also depends on how someone puts it.. if it is meant to be constructive criticism it's fine. The most important thing I'd want to know from someone who said "I told you so" is - Why was your suggestion better than mine AT THE TIME the decision was made (w/o the luxury of hindsight)..
Nice thought... I too have faced those situations... But what matters is the tone and the intention of the person who says it... if it's full of arrogance and disrespect, then you are absolutely right. But there is a genuineness, then I better take it.
There could still be a case where both of them are right, then it is ok to agree to disagree.
I can't do the same under taking shelter under the label "constructive criticism". If it is so, then set the context that you are critiquing and then propose the argument.
And, I think regardless of the time, the argument that the suggestion is "better" itself is not fair. "Better" than what? ... We are humans and we have an up bringing and a world view which lets us think in a certain way...
And, I couldn't agree more with Parna on holding both views at par.
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